Gender: Male
Location: Los Angeles
Relationship: Swinger
Orientation: Straight
Body Type: Athletic
Height: 5'10"
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
AIM:
KINGNEL13
Gmail: TheDerekNelson
About Me: I am a 20 year old actor and comedian in LA. I am the last of a dying breed. Much like Superman was the last of the Kryptons and sent to earth, I was sent from Uranus to save America from extremist capitalism and liberal socialism. Much like Johnny Cash, I walk the line. I am a balance of good and bad, narrowly threading the needle on both. In a world of right and left, I am in the middle. I take nothing seriously, except for the fact that Im serious about not taking anything serious. I only try to be funny when I am performing for my comic troupe. Other than that, I could care less whether you think Im the second coming of Jim Carrey or the most ignorant and stupid man youve ever met. Fear fears me. I once beat up the grim reaper.... with a blindfold on. I am a man on a mission. However, Im not quite sure what that mission is. I know that I was not meant to work in a cubicle from 9-5 or tell you," Thanks for coming to Wal-Mart. Have a nice day, dickmuncher" while wearing a stupid blue vest with a sick, sadistic smiley on my back. I want to be in show business and I would like it sooner rather than later. I am hopelessly optimistic because I refuse to let myself down. I am going to be insanely rich and famous or wind up incarcerated. That is no joke.
Likes: Hot weather and hotter women
Hobbies: Living the life, stand-up comedy, sketch comedy, film, screenwritng, jerking off, pretending to know people and try talking to them when I don't know them, singing in the middle of the mall, lovin' in the basement, giving Roman helmets, collecting money for the blind and then putting it in my own pocket(J/K) and asking for EggMcMuffin's at 1 in the morning.
Vices: Having no shame
Virtues: My loyalty.
Heroes: Dane Cook, Mailmen across the plains, Robin Williams, my grandparents, Abraham Lincoln, Mr. Clean, Adam Sandler, Swedish porn stars, Mike Tyson, Russian nuclear sub-engineers, homeless people with anger issues, dogs on seadoos
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